How does one grow a money tree

This morning I'm panicked, scared, feeling hopeless.......We are soon going to find ourselves living beyond our means. It's not that we're splurging or being frivolous, income is just not enough to cover necessities.

Next month Aaron's parents will be starting the move to New York. This has been the plan for quite a while and something Aaron wants, because he knows his parents will be taken care of there and able to move on with a good life. While this is something we all have discussed and want to happen, the reality is that once they are gone we are financially unable to make it from month to month.

Last night Aaron did the thing no one wants to do and went over the budget. Listing out our income (is social security), and all of our bills. Thanks to finding assistance for our prescriptions though manufacturers and hospice our Rx cost per month is down to about $28 a month. After his parents move we will be dropping cable, Netflix and lowering Aaron's phone plan. We were finally approved for enough food stamps that we don't have to budget for food. After dropping things and not having to pay for food, we're still about $600 in the hole each month.

I called our property management today and was told they do not accept any rental assistance programs from the government. I feel extremely blessed that we got the place we live. There is almost no chance of finding another place with a garage, washer dryer hookups and a fenced yard for $550 a month. I consider our rent to be very inexpensive.

We have talked about getting a roommate and after that help with rent and utilities that brings us down to about $250 over each month.

I am currently still waiting to hear back about my disability denial appeal. That could be anywhere from 3-4 months of waiting. If the appeal is denied it could be up to a year for a hearing.

It is so frustrating. Not only do I feel helpless in everything Aaron is going through and the fact that I can't fix anything, now I am unable to cover monthly needs.

Please pray for us. I know things are tight for everyone but if you have any extra there is a donation button to help us on the right side of this post. I'm just at my whit's end. That's all for this post. I'm off to take a Xanex and find some chocolate.

Palm Sunday

Mark 11 (NIV)

Jesus Comes to Jerusalem as King

¹ As they approached Jerusalem and came to Bethphage and Bethany at the Mount of Olives, Jesus sent two of his disciples, ² saying to them, “Go to the village ahead of you, and just as you enter it, you will find a colt tied there, which no one has ever ridden. Untie it and bring it here. ³ If anyone asks you, ‘Why are you doing this?’ say, ‘The Lord needs it and will send it back here shortly.’”

⁴ They went and found a colt outside in the street, tied at a doorway. As they untied it, ⁵ some people standing there asked, “What are you doing, untying that colt?” ⁶ They answered as Jesus had told them to, and the people let them go. ⁷ When they brought the colt to Jesus and threw their cloaks over it, he sat on it. ⁸ Many people spread their cloaks on the road, while others spread branches they had cut in the fields. ⁹ Those who went ahead and those who followed shouted,

“Hosanna!^[a]”

“Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!”^[b]

¹⁰ “Blessed is the coming kingdom of our father David!”

“Hosanna in the highest heaven!”

¹¹ Jesus entered Jerusalem and went into the temple courts. He looked around at everything, but since it was already late, he went out to Bethany with the Twelve.

This Morning church was amazing. Listening to our pastor talk to the kids about the Triumphal entry and hearing the children yell "Hosanna! Hosanna!" as loud as they could gave me such joy. I can only imagine what it would have been like to be there for the real thing. When I was a kid The church I grew up in did a big passion play every year. I remember singing and waving huge palm fronds as the man playing Jesus rode down the isle on a donkey. I used to run up the isle with all the other kids yelling, "Jesus, Jesus!", to have the man playing Jesus say “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” (Matt. 19:14). I remember how much joy I had being there in that moment sitting at his feet knowing that we were chosen and loved.

Today I was reminded that I am still chosen and loved. I can still run to him yelling, "Jesus, Jesus!" and when people try to hold me back or discourage me he will still answer them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”

Several years ago I wrote a poem that with the help of a friend was turned into a song:

To be a child when you walked the earth, what would my eyes have seen?

The comfort of your simple touch, your words making dead people live

Looking into your face not knowing all you'd do for me

To walk beside you and sit at your feet as you spoke your fathers words.

Then to see your body hanging there. Giving your final breath to save the world.

You saw me stand in front of you. Knowing all that I would to, to break your heart and bring you joy.

Then looking past all my sin and all I would do to mock your name, you knew that I would come to bless the Lord.

The people laughed and they called you names. You were bruised and beaten down.

But looking at you I saw your loving eyes beneath that crown.

You were not angry, you did not fight back, or show your infinite power.

You just kept walking down that road toward your darkest hour.

But in your pain I did not see. You were buying my life and liberty.

You saw me stand in front of you, knowing all that I would to, to break your heart and bring you joy.

Then looking past all my sin you knew that I would come to bless you lord.

Thank you God for sending your Son to save us.

I hope you all take this week to think about everything Jesus went through this week and the upcoming triumph over death for our sins.