Scuba diving but my tanks filled with sludge

I feel like we're drowning in in things that need to be done. As I sit here I'm thinking I should mow the lawn/jungle that is accruing, do laundry, wash the sheets, take the comforter to the laundry mat and de-dog-ify it, find the floor in the living room and vacuum it, get the sap off the car and other things I might find need to be done in the process of doing the other things. I don't know where to start. To top it off creditors are calling again.
It's all so overwhelming. What I want to do it go to sleep and wake up to a perfect life where everything is clean, done and Aaron doesn't have cancer. Things just don't seem important anymore. All I want to do is spend time with Aaron. But even then there's nothing I can do to make him better. I'm a very self reliant person. I want to be able to do things by myself. I love assembling things, figuring out how things work. I'm a fixer. When I was little I used to tell my mom "self do it". I want to self do it now! But there's too much for me to self do it.
I want to be everything for Aaron. I know he feels like I'm the best wife in the world, but I feel like I should be able to do more. I know it's unreasonable and I'm only one person.
Aaron's parents have been a great help and I'm very thankful to the people that have helped in the past. I don't want it to sound like no one has helped. I'm just overwhelmed right now.
There is a great opportunity for you to help if you want to. Aaron's going to be doing a show in a few weeks with some friend. It's going to be a great show. You can get more info about it soon on his website. www.judasforgiven.com.
Thanks for listen to me freak out.

The waiting game

Today a new stretch of waiting has started. Aaron had a follow up MRI today to find out if his treatment is working. It's hard to know what results to root for. If treatment is working then that means we get more time together but he has a longer harder road of more treatment and side effects. If treatment isn't working then he'll stop getting the meds and possibly be more comfortable, but I'll have less time with him. It's not even a case if the lesser evil. Neither one is good. Either way I loose the one I love at some point.
So this week, I"ll go to work and pretend all day that nothing is wrong and life is just great. There's no reason our clients need to know the details of the difficulties we go through. They have their own problems. But after work when I come home I am once again overwhelmed with the reality of what's going on. Don't get me wrong. I couldn't ask for a more amazing husband and companion. He's going through all this crap to be with me. He is more brave than I can imagine and he is my hero.
It's just so incredibly unfair that he has to deal with all this. I know what I have to go through emotionally but I have no idea the difficulty he's having.
So if you see either one of us this week and we seem to be on auto pilot we're just playing the waiting game.