New York, New York how I'll miss you

This has been an amazing few days. We got into NYC Tuesday night about 10pm. Wednesday we saw Phantom of the Opera at 2pm. It was a great show. The actors had amazing voices and they're nothing like seeing it in person. On the way out of the theater we heard a woman say to her family that she didn't enjoy it at all. "The movie was so much better". I literally had to stop dead on the sidewalk and look at Aaron who had done the same to grasp what we had just heard. It's almost like they thought the Broadway musical was based on the movie instead of the other way around. Still confused on that. The other show we saw was Wicked, based on the book about the witches from The Wizard of Oz. That was an amazing show. As much as I like Phantom I enjoyed Wicked more. The story is more light hearted and has some pretty funny moments. It was also aranged though the Granted Wish foundation (like Make a wish for adults) for us to go back stage and meet the cast. We ended up hanging out in the Wizards dressing room and chatting with some of the cast for about 1/2 an hour. The only one we weren't able to meet was the woman who played Elpheba (the wicked witch). I assume she was de-greening for quite a while. THe next day we took a double decker bus tour which allows you to get on and off throughout the day. A bus comes to one of the stops every 15 min. so if you want to get off and shop or see a landmark you can spend as much time as you want. If anything it was worth not having to pay for taxi fare all day. It was pretty hot that day and after a while the bus engines started overheating which in turn meant they couldn't runn the A/C. That was interesting. We did have rain for about 10 minutes accompanied by one lightning strike and a huge thunder clap. That's all we got in the city but out Long Island and in Conetticut they had what looked like a tornado, with lots of trees down and roofs caved in and lost power for a day or so.
As I type this I'm on the train from Albany, NY back to the City to take the plane trip home. It was great to see Aaron's cousin Corey and meet her husband JOhn and all the kids. Troy is beautiful. So many buildings built like castles, amazingn churches and beautiful scenery.In theory I would love to come home, pack up everything and move out here to Troy or somewhere close to it. Aaron's parents will be moving out here after Jan retires and I know Aaron would do it in a heart beat. I really think we could both very easily make the transition. Being with Corey's family was so much fun. I actually cried several times last night because I didn't want to come home. We wished we could have stayed another week, or month, or months. It's hard to leave such a wonderful place and come back to the reality of work, Appointments, stress, Aaron having treatments, sickness and just life in general. As much as I love my family (who apparently would feel abandoned and I assume riddle me with guilt for the rest of my life) I would love to just pick up and start somewhere new. I think it's healthy to do that at least once in your life. I've never lives outside a 8 mile radius from where I was born! Yes I have traveled around the country and seen things but always came back to Springfield. Something inside me is torn about whether to stay or leave. But I know I"ll get many suggestions and advice, wanted or not after people read this. I think it's a good thing that we were on such a tight schedule today of getting from the train to the plane becuase I don't have time to think about how sad I am to leave. I know it's hard on Aaron. NYC is finally the place he feels like he was meant to be, as I"m sure you know from reading his blog. If you haven't do it now.
I guess I don't have anything else to say. I can't explain any further how difficult today is. I waS actually looking at appartments in Troy on the train ride to Albany yesterday. Just day dreaming. I could go on and on but it would just be repeating things and mumbling. God has a plan and unless he tells me to go to NY, I guess I'll stay in OR like is expected. But I may pout for a while.

NYC here we come!

So Monday night we go up to Portland to fly out to NYC on Tuesday morning. Right now I'm so excited my stomach has the fluttery feeling like when you're about to go on your first date, or get your first kiss, or see the love of your life. I've been looking at photos on google of the musical Wicked for about the last hour and I just can't grasp the fact that we're going to see that show let alone sit in Steven Schwarts' house seats!(not allowed to say how we got them, but it involved a lot of searching on google and a long shot e-mail that I sent out.) Our first day in NYC will be Broadway madness as we also decided to take the once in a lifetime opportunity to see Phantom of the Opera. So we'll go see Phantom at 2pm then grab dinner and go see Wicked at 8pm.
I can't believe I'm going to be able to go to New York with Aaron. This is one thing I wanted to make sure happened for him. God has been amazing in providing us everything we need as well as being able to do things we wanted as well. I'm not saying we have an excess of money. We've had to be very strategic in our spending.
Making sure Aaron gets to do as much ans he can ofthe things he's always wanted to do has been my goal since his diagnosis and I"ve really taken on the motto that you just have to ask. We've both gone out on a limb for a few things trying to get tickets or opportunities to happen. I used to think that it wasn't worth it and everyone was either going to say no or not respond at all. One thing I've learned(of the MANY things) is you should ask. Don't be afraid to ask for anything. The worst thing that can happen is you get told no. But if you dont' ask you'll never know if something could have happened.
This also carries over to my relationship with God.

Philippians 4:6 (New International Version)⁶Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Go to God and ask him for the desires of your heart. Be prepared for a no if it's not in his plan, but if it is in his plan be prepared for the ride of your life. Also if it's not in his plan, think about how important you felt that request was and how happy it was going to make you. If he said no to that, he's got something even better and more amazing in the plan for you. Make that the new desire of your heart. Aaron has been something amazing in my life. I've asked and still do ask for him to be healed. I know God can do it if it's in his plan. If it's not, then what kind of amazing things does he have in the works for everyone that surrounds Aaron. The thought blows my mind.

Thanks for reading this again. Guess I didn't bore you enough with the first blog. I hope you all get to do something in your life that you've always wanted to do and have your mind blown by that experience, God or both.

Just the beginning

So I finally broke down and started a blog. Let's hope I'm more consistent with this than any diary I've ever started.
I'm having a hard night and I think writing may help. This weekend was incredibly busy. Friday night was Aaron's benefit show. We got to ride in a donated limo and it was a great performance by all. I hadn't laughed that hard in a long time. I actually had a sore throat and ached a bit the next day from laughing to hard. The turn out was not what we had hoped for and after paying for shirts to be made for the show we didn't come out as far ahead as we would have liked for it being a fundraiser. But it was a fun night and that's all Aaron really wanted. Saturday I worked in the morning, then slept to catch up on what I missed the night before, then went out for our friends birthday. Karaoke was fun as usual and it's always fun to hang out with Tim and Caitlin. Sunday morning we had church outside followed by a picnic. Then more relaxing. So why am I so emotional today?! I've been unmotivated, grouchy and tired all day. I've been dealing with horrible cramps thanks to my newly found ovarian cyst but I think this is more than PMS.
We leave to NYC a week from tomorrow. I love planning trips. Finding things to do, a place to stay, getting tickets to things. A radio station that interviewed Aaron a while ago about selling add space on his urn is paying for the flight. After hours searching for e-mail addresses for anyone who may be involved with or have connections to the show Wicked, I got amazing tickets for a ridiculously low price. All that's left is the hotel. I want Aaron to be able to do everything he wants to do and not feel like he missed anything. He says He only wants to spend time with me there but I want him to do things he's always wanted to. So therefore all the planning I enjoy has quickly become a stress that we won't have the funds to do things. Unless we stay in a hostel it's almost impossible to find a hotel that's not miles away from where we need to be for less that $180 a night. I just have this fear that so many things are lining up and there's going to be one thing that happens that will prevent the trip from happening because we couldn't afford it.
I also wish that I could spend more time with Aaron. I have to work full time to keep benefits. It's not an option but some days it's so hard to leave him at home. I feel like I have such a limited time left and half of it is spent with me at work. Don't get me wrong, I love my work and they have been amazing to me. Everyone is very understanding of our situation and they let me have the time I need. It's my own guilt in the back of my head knowing that I'm leaving people short handed that gets to me.
So in seven days we leave for the trip of a lifetime. I get to fly for the second time in my life and it's to NYC! Sometimes I think it would be nice to pack up and leave everything and move there. But then I realize that the cancer would follow us there and we can't afford to fly the amazing people from Willamette Valley Cancer Institute there with us. So that's out.
So I'll just try to choose joy in the situations I can't control and trust that God will provide us with what we need when we need it.
Thanks for reading. Hope I didn't bore you too much.