I feel like we're drowning in in things that need to be done. As I sit here I'm thinking I should mow the lawn/jungle that is accruing, do laundry, wash the sheets, take the comforter to the laundry mat and de-dog-ify it, find the floor in the living room and vacuum it, get the sap off the car and other things I might find need to be done in the process of doing the other things. I don't know where to start. To top it off creditors are calling again.
It's all so overwhelming. What I want to do it go to sleep and wake up to a perfect life where everything is clean, done and Aaron doesn't have cancer. Things just don't seem important anymore. All I want to do is spend time with Aaron. But even then there's nothing I can do to make him better. I'm a very self reliant person. I want to be able to do things by myself. I love assembling things, figuring out how things work. I'm a fixer. When I was little I used to tell my mom "self do it". I want to self do it now! But there's too much for me to self do it.
I want to be everything for Aaron. I know he feels like I'm the best wife in the world, but I feel like I should be able to do more. I know it's unreasonable and I'm only one person.
Aaron's parents have been a great help and I'm very thankful to the people that have helped in the past. I don't want it to sound like no one has helped. I'm just overwhelmed right now.
There is a great opportunity for you to help if you want to. Aaron's going to be doing a show in a few weeks with some friend. It's going to be a great show. You can get more info about it soon on his website. www.judasforgiven.com.
Thanks for listen to me freak out.
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