Playing pin the plan on my life

Well, This has been an interesting week. It started to get difficult Tuesday night when Aaron went into the ER for difficulty breathing. They did EKGs, blood work and an MRI and found nothing out of the ordinary. So at 3am we went back home. I went to work the next day with a decent amount of coffee to make it. That night after I got home from work the breathing issue started to get worse so we went back to the ER. This time they did more blood work, another EKG and a chest x-ray still showing nothing. So again back home around midnight and up and off to work the next morning. Thursday night Aaron and I went to bed around 7:30pm to try and catch up on sleep. He woke up about an hour later crying. This week has been very difficult for him. He's mourning his own life it seems. No one should ever have to do that. I layed in bed as he sat on the edge crying. I felt so helpless. There are no words to say that feel like you can help someone who is facing death, but doesn't want to die. There's also the other side of that in chemo is so rough he's not sure how much longer he can go through it. All I can say is that I support his decision and understand that he needs to do what he has to. Of course I want his to be around longer but I don't want him to be miserable. It's a difficult decision to make.
We've started getting phone calls from Dr's we owe money to. That's always fun. I just want to tell them, "here's a deal, if you find the money I'll pay it to you". I did contact Sacred Heart to apply for their Bridge program which is like a hardship application. So we will fill that out and see where it goes. I also Called Curry General Hospital, in Gold Beach Oregon, which is where we had to stop for me on the way down to Cali. in June. Because we don't live in the area we don't qualify for any sort of financial assistance through them. So the full $900 is our portion. Good times.
On the way home from the ER the second night our check Engine light came on in the new car. Awesome. We're taking it into the dealer tomorrow to have it looked at. Praying it's something simple and cheep(or free).
So here's the icing on the cake for the week. At about 3:30 today (Friday) I got asked to go back to the office where our office manager was. I joked before leaving the front desk that I must be safe to go cause it wasn't the "end of the day yet". Well I was wrong. I got back to the office and she was sitting at the desk with my employee file. She started to explain that we hadn't been bringing in enough money as a clinic and they were going to have to cut a full time position. Due to the amount of absences I'd had, in spite of the fact that it was because my husband has F@&#ing CANCER!!, I was the one they were letting go. They did say if things picked back up and they were needing another full time person again they would want me back. Of course with the fact that I am the only income besides Social Security, I can't exactly wait for that to happen. So tonight we went out on the double date we had been planning with friends. One last night of fun, and of course I nice stiff drink, played some Mario Kart, watched some Greg the Bunny and now off to bed soon.
Tomorrow We will get up, take the car in, see a friend we haven't seen in a long time, Sunday church and Monday go to unemployment, social services to see about food stamps and look for work.
God has a plan in all of this. I DO sill believe this. I just feel like I'm wearing a blindfold and being spun in circles right now. I don't know when I'll stop spinning and hear the word "go" but I"m starting to get nauseous.

1 Peter 4:13
^12-13Friends, when life gets really difficult, don't jump to the conclusion that God isn't on the job. Instead, be glad that you are in the very thick of what Christ experienced. This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner. - The Message